My day consist of judging myself. Why can't i be pretty? Why can't i be thin? Why can't i have the ideal body.. Big butt big boobs thin waist.
I guess at times i wish i was white? White girls always have to be pretty. White girls can wear anything and look fantastic. Not offending any other raise.
I'm not happy in the body i live in and no one sees it or cares to ask if I'm doing fine.It seems as if i just don't matter for anyone? Nobody ever cares to listen. But at times i really wish someone would.
I close myself off in a shell. I cant love me for myself. I'm too scared to look in the mirror and see the same face i saw not so long ago.
I have a big forehead which makes my head look long?! And have i talked about my nose? I don't even like hitting that topic because it just makes me cry.
When i look into the mirror all i see is this short Mexican fat ugly girl.
I don't think people know how much i hate it when they call girls pretty or hot in front of me. It makes me wish i had their futures. I wish i could be just like them. When ever Alhdo calls a girl pretty it lowers my self esteem and makes the rest of the day one big piece of poop.
I'm so caught up with me being ugly all those times I've caught him talking to girls i cave in. Ive always known he talks to girls but never really said anything. I blame myself. I hurt myself because i cant be pretty.
My whole world just involves around that word PRETTY i would do anything in the world to just live in a pretty girls body. I don't think people see how much this really does affect me.
No one bothers to ask,,,
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